Not Welcome
by Ravenclaw Eagle
Summary: Hermione is home alone during summer holiday, and guess who shows up? Three robbers. Can Hermione get them away without exposing her magic? Slightly plotless, slightly pointless.


A/N: I was kind of intrigued with the idea of Muggles accidentally coming so close to the wizarding world in a rather unpleasant way. I think there is so much to write about on this subject.

I was originally going to have Harry in this, but I thought that Harry has already done so much for wizards that he can just sit back on the sidelines and do nothing. He deserves a break instead of coming over to the rescue as soon as prying Muggle eyes try to peer into the secrets of magic. Also he would be absolutely fine if someone robbed the Dursleys. Although he might not be fine with the punishment he's given once the Dursleys come back... So I decided to use another character living with Muggles as the main character in this fic. So of course, who else but the wonderfully developed (and perfectly capable) Hermione Granger?

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Hermione. The rest of the characters and the very poor plot are mine, unfortunately... Oddly enough, when I was coming up with a name for one of the robbers, the first name I came up with was Harry. And then I realized, wait, I can't use that name!

**Not Welcome**

Hermione was surprisingly at home, lounging on her bed. Unsurprisingly, she was reading a book and thinking of if she could possibly incorporate this information into her Transfiguration essay that was assigned over summer holiday. Hermione had already completed the assignment, but it was never too late to add more information, especially since it was still July.

She was completely engrossed in the book, until she heard a strange sound. It was the sound of the door being unlocked, but her parents were at a dentists' convention in Wales and would be there for another two days. The only reason that they had not brought Hermione was that they thought that she would be bored there, when her parents would be in meetings and other similarly uninteresting places all throughout their visit. She would be all alone for most of the time, and it would be better if Hermione was alone in a familiar place, rather than a strange one.

The door being unlocked and opened scared her.

She was a witch, though. She was the most intelligent witch in her year at Hogwarts. She should not be scared of a few intruders, she thought rationally.

But the rational thoughts did not matter when she heard the unmistakable sound and adrenaline pumped through her body. Rational thoughts were not for people that were scared out of their wits. Rational thoughts were for when you could keep your head, and in a situation like this, in which people could steal the Grangers' money or belongings, rational thoughts were forgotten.

Something made Hermione find her wand in her bedside drawer. It was as if an unseen force brought her to the wand, as if she knew that she would need it. And then, with the reality of her wand in her hand, Hermione felt reassured that she could handle these men.

Their voices, though not their words, drifted up the steps and into her room. One was deep and slightly gravelly, like an older man. Another was a light tenor, speaking quickly and with an accent that Hermione had never heard before. The last voice was quiet but filled with authority, and another tenor, but still lower-pitched. The two tenors were both years younger than the first voice.

Glad that her father had recently put WD-40 onto the hinges of her once-squeaky door, Hermione slipped out of her bedroom and onto the stairs landing. It was a shame that there was no wall separating the great room and the second-story landing she was on- there was only a railing. Stupid vaulted ceiling. Hermione crouched down and army-crawled to the edge of the stairs. The men were not in the great room yet, so she silently ran down the stairs and hid behind the sofa. She pointed her wand out to the entryway from the kitchen.

The men were not what Hermione would call quiet- they would have definitely been kicked out of the Hogwarts library by Madame Pince in about three seconds. There were loud bumps, usually followed by rather vibrant curses, used for both glee and annoyance at what they found. Sometimes one would call out something along the lines of, "Hit the jackpot here!" It was oftentimes hard for Hermione to wait patiently for them to come into the great room.

One man came into the kitchen, for who knew what. Hermione sure didn't. But she took a chance. She could see him, see the angle for her wand to hit him with the Full-Body Bind. And then what? Drag him and his other two friends out into the street and have people ask what in the world she was doing? Not quite.

Hermione knew what she could do. Scare them off. Muggles were scared of things that moved or turned on or whatever on their own. She shot a water spell at the sink faucet so that it turned on seemingly of its own accord. The guy spun around at the sound of the water now pouring down the drain when he was five feet away from the sink. And then, the blender started up at once. The lights flickered on and off. And perhaps strangest of all, a blue fire sprouted out of the sink, while the water was still on. The fire still burned, but this man probably could not see what was burning. Hermione didn't know of any materials that would burn while water was poured on top of it. But the sink was perfectly safe.

"Hey, Jim, what's going on in there? You cooking dinner or something?" the deep, old voice called from the living room. He didn't get an answer and came in to see what in the world was happening.

A Muggle like him had never seen a stranger sight before. The knives had already come up out of their rack and were dancing around the room. A cabinet door swung open and hit the new man on the arm. He was so surprised- or was it scared?- that he could barely move, let alone talk back to the other man.

Hermione laid a very special spell that made other spells bounce off the stainless steel refrigerator (which was a very tricky thing to do) and another curse hit the lights in the dining room so that they would flicker on and off. The two men in the room were scared stiff at these happenings, and Hermione hoped that they would leave soon, preferably not screaming in terror to attract the neighbors' attention, or fainting so that she was left with an unconscious person that she would have to move.

The first man to enter the kitchen said, "I'm out of here, Nick. I never agreed to haunted houses!" And he went to the living room and out the front door. The other man, who had not come into the kitchen, stuck his head into the room and ran out after the first. The old man, Nick, muttered, "Imbeciles."

Hermione decided to attack the man with one of the knives that were floating around the room. He screamed, none too softly, and tried running away from it. A pair of tongs and a serving fork both joined the knife (which was only a bread knife). And then a pair of chopsticks from the Grangers' last meal of Chinese food sped through the fire she created in the sink. Both became flaming arrows, zooming around after the intruder.

The man finally got the idea that this house was haunted or somehow magically trying to protect itself. It was actually strange that the men had not thought about there possibly being someone in the house, particularly a very accomplished witch. But Muggles, especially ones that did not try to let their imaginations get the better of them, never would have thought about magic and witches living among them.

Hermione decided to clean up, especially after seeing the ruckus made by the thieves and her way to rid the home of them. With a wave of her wand Hermione destroyed the magical, blue fire in the sink and set the knives, tongs, and fork back where they all belonged. She had to use the water spell to stop the burning chopsticks (a very tricky prospect, and one that made the floor very slippery). They fell on the floor, charred and lifeless.

The men had made a very large mess in the small amount of time that they were in the house. The living room was in shambles. Paintings on the walls lay on the floor. The cushions on the sofa were ripped and scattered on the ground, the coffee table, and the bookshelves that were now devoid of their books. The lamp was on the ground, next to a burlap sack that was half-filled with the Grangers' possessions. With a wave of her wand Hermione had cleared up the mess, and carried the sack to the trash can.

Hermione heard a knock on her door. She tiptoed over to the door and looked in the little eyepiece. It was only her neighbor, Mrs. Jones.

"Hi, Mrs. Jones, what can I do for you today?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, I just heard a scream coming from your house"-_No!_-"and saw those men come out of here. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I think. I mean, I saw them come in and got frightened and yelled and they saw me- they were robbers, I think- and ran away when they saw that I was home." It wasn't a complete lie.

"Are you okay? And what about inside? Is there any mess?"

"No, not much. I already cleaned some stuff up. It won't be hard to get everything else back in place." It would be downright easy, in fact.

"You should call the police and report this."

Hermione thought that this was very stupid, because she had not known who had broken in, aside from first names (and those first names were common). There no longer was any evidence that people had broken in. And nobody would admit to the crime, even if she did go to the police. Nobody would say that he saw household objects come to life. Even if the three confessed, nobody would believe them. Hermione was safe.

A/N: Thanks for reading this and putting up with such silly stuff! Please review! Maybe I'll even make this into a little series of episodes... Harry Potter & Co. against unsuspecting Muggles. The possibilities are endless, so if you think that I could pull off the idea, please tell me! Thanksssssssssss!

Peace


End file.
